The Next Quick Fix Is Not the Answer
Most of my clients, women in their 40s, have weight loss as one of their ultimate goals. And they’re looking to me to give them that meal plan that will be designed in such a way that they will magically stick to it despite not sticking to the last 10 meal plans they’ve received from other coaches..
They’re out here going from coach to coach, workout fad to workout fad, diet to diet, believing they just haven’t found the right “thing” to keep them motivated.
When the reality of the matter is they are the “thing” that is stopping them from having the results and the life they want.
What Is Your Self-Image And How Does it Affect You Achieving Your Goals?
Your self-image is conglomeration of beliefs about yourself that create the lens through which you see yourself. These beliefs are based on all of your life experiences, negative and positive.
Having a parent that always criticised you may cause you to have a self-image of never being able to do anything right. Having a father that was never there for you may cause you to have a self-image of someone that is unworthy of love. Being bullied at school because of your weight may have led you to have a self-image of someone who is ugly.
These beliefs about yourself are your truth. And once something is true to you, your mind will set about finding situations, circumstances and even directing your own behaviours and thoughts to affirm your truths.
Some of us are aware of our firmly held self-image and beliefs about our identity while others are oblivious to the program running in our mind that is dictating our thoughts and actions and attracting the situations and circumstances that shape our lives. Whether you are aware or not it is there for each and every one of us.
This is why if you see yourself as “fat” or as someone who “doesn’t like to workout” or who “loves sweets too much” then the chances of you sticking to the healthy habits required to see results over the long term are slim.
You may be able to push through with willpower for a while and even see some results, but if you don’t address the root of the problem, your thoughts and behaviours will always return to what is inline with your self-image and you will forever be stuck using willpower to get things done which is neither sustainable or fun.
When you change your self-image/identity the new things you want to accomplish seem to happen effortlessly and without strain.
The Best Method For Reaching Your Goals
A combination of outer changes (ex. healthy habits and regular exercise) and inner changes (ex. mindset and self-image and identity work) will yield the best results.
However, if you were only going to work on one I’d say start with the inner work as it will lead to the outer work naturally as your perception of yourself and your mindset changes (self-image dictates your behaviours).
I am not saying that it is impossible to see changes to your belief system if you start with outer work, because it has been shown that repeated action and thought can do that over time. However, willpower will often run out before you get to the point where your repetition has affected your psyche to the point of changing your self-image.
The good news is that anyone at any age can change their self-image and identity, and while it still requires effort and consistent practice it is much easier and far more rewarding and effective than using willpower.
7 Ways you Can Begin Changing Your Self-Image and Moving Towards Your Goals Right Now
- Goal – You need to have a clear goal and you must act as if you’ve already achieved it in terms of how you feel.
- Understand – Understand what type of values and identity it would take to achieve the type of goal you’ve set for yourself. If you want to lose weight than the goal is not just to lose 10lbs, it’s to embrace the self-image and identity of a healthy person.
- Act – Take action towards your goal even if you are unsure of the best path to get there at the moment. Don’t worry about if you should do CrossFit or spinning, just do SOMETHING. If you are building the identity of a healthy person than just ask yourself “what would a healthy person do?” The answer to that is surely not nothing. It can be as simple as going for a walk for now, just take action.
- Learn – Reinforce the new self-image and identity you want to create for yourself by learning about it. Read up on healthy recipes, watch YouTube videos on workouts for your fitness level, invest in a coach, take a class, join a gym. Find someone who has achieved what you want and learn about their process. The more reinforcement the better.
- Trust – Trust in the process. Don’t be discouraged if you aren’t seeing results “fast enough” because this is meant to be a lifelong process, not some quick fix or short term fad where you are already planning an end date at which point you can return to your old ways. The letting go allows space for the right people and resources to come to you and help you adjust your course if necessary. Your job is simply to bring energy to your desired self-image in the form of your thoughts, speech and actions.
- Relax – Don’t be afraid of making mistakes or of temporary failure and negative feedback as it is actually an important part of the process. What matters is how quickly you get back on track.
- Commit – Commit to your ideal future self by spending a mere 10-15 minutes a day seeing yourself having already achieved whatever it is you want. Bring as much detail and positive emotion to this vision as you can. The more you practice the better the vision will get. You can spend 5-10 minutes in the morning when you wake up and another 5-10 minutes at night before falling asleep. It may help bring the image to life by writing about it, drawing it, having a vision board with picture cut outs, do whatever you need to do to make it even more real.
While it is more than possible to alter your self-image on your own (I will provide some resources for you to do so below) you may want the guidance of a coach to get your started.
How Working with a Coach Can Help you Do the Inner Work
- Help you conduct an accurate inventory and analysis of your current self-image
- Help you identify limiting and restrictive programming embedded in your subconscious that is keeping you from your goals
- Help you systematically alter these limiting beliefs to suit your goals
- Show you how to use imagination to reprogram and manage your self image
- Show you how to get back on track quicker should you have a setback
Resources:
Please note that I do receive a small commission if you purchase any of the books below through the link, but it is at no extra charge to you.
Psycho Cybernetics – Maxwell Maltz
Purchase hard copy here
Purchase Kindle version here
The Power of Your Identity – Rock Thomas
Purchase hard copy here
Purchase Kindle version here
You Can Heal Your Life – Louise Hay
Purchase hard copy here
Purchase Kindle version here
May we all reach our goals in 2022!!
