Where many of the clients I’ve worked with in the past mess up is trying to do too much too soon. They go from certified couch potatoes to working out 5 days a week, cutting out all carbs, sugar, fat and alcohol from their diet, setting a new bedtime 2 hours earlier than usual and then they wonder why their brains who LOVE the comfort zone aren’t willing to just accept these drastic changes without putting up a fight.
You may be able to push through big changes for a while using your precious will power and a dash of good intentions, but it’s rare that anyone can deal with that much change at once long term.
I say, at the beginning of building new habits err on the side of it almost feeling easy to start. If you are prone to starting and stopping healthy routines then you may benefit from a “priming” period. Getting yourself ready for the new activity with SMALL steps.
I had a client who would consistently schedule in 4.5 hours of yoga a week which was the equivalent of 4 classes at her yoga studio, but she would consistently always miss one or two classes every week. Sometimes, to make up for missing a class she would then schedule in 5 classes the following week, and guess what? She would usually end up missing 2-3 classes. She would then get so down on herself about it that she would often not go at all some weeks.
I suggested she schedule 1 class a week and 1 follow along yoga video of 20-30 mins at home. She felt this was not very much for someone trying to build a yoga practice but I told her to do it anyway. What happened? She followed through on the 1 class a week and the 1 at home 30 minute video. This allowed her to be proud of herself for actually following through.
She wanted to immediately up her attendance to the original 4.5 hours a week and I told her to instead the second week to do 1 class and 2x 30 minute sessions at home. She did and again she felt really proud of herself and was itching to move up.
The third week I advised her to go to 2 classes and 1 x 30 minute session at home.
We worked like this until she got up to 3x yoga classes a week plus one session at home which worked for her and she was very happy with. Going slow allowed her body and mind to get acclimated to the new routine. Going slow and FOLLOWING through allowed her to stop feeling discouraged (which usually triggers the opposite action you are looking for) and allowed her to feel proud of herself which is a natural motivation builder.
This is why it’s not only important to find the RIGHT practices for you, but to be honest with yourself about how much time you are willing and able to invest. The first couple of weeks it’s okay if the new practices feel easy.
Another example would be wanting to run a 5K but starting with going for 20 minute walks every morning. Or wanting to lose 10lbs but starting with simply eating a healthy breakfast every morning rather than overhauling all of your eating habits.
The goal is progress and not perfection so as long as you are moving forward regardless of how slow it may seem there is no need to worry. Consistent progress adds up quickly and you will soon be feeling that “challenge” so need to rush there, it’s better to build the identity you are looking to build slowly. You do not just install new habits into your life, you build them intentionally and progressively. This is one way to progress using less willpower.
I have been guilty of doing the same thing when it comes to building my coaching business. I get really motivated to work on my business and tell myself I’m going to work 2 hours a day on creating content. Within the week I usually stray from that plan because it’s a lot for someone who is building the identity of being an entrepreneur or a marketer. Once I don’t follow through it reinforces my self-talk of not being good at it. This mindset actually creates more procrastination and self-sabotage. So this time around I have followed my own advice to work on my business at least 15 minutes a day. THAT’S IT. You’d actually be surprised at what can get done in just 15 minutes. Also, without the pressure of a heavy workload (yes 2 hours of working on something that is challenging to me feels like a heavy workload) I’d usually end up doing more than 15 minutes of work, often getting to that 2 hour mark without even realizing it.
That’s it! If you find yourself continually NOT following through, try scaling back the amount of time you invest in the new habit or practice. I often tell people to break down the new habit you are trying to build into its most simplest step and do 2 minutes. Anything to start the priming process. 2 minutes may seem like nothing but over time and with progression it can yield great results!
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