I’m back! Wow it’s been a minute since I’ve written for Blckbrd Fly but such is my M.O. I get a burst of desire to write for a couple of months and then let the next burst of desire take my attention away for a few more months. But now I’m back and feeling more inspired than ever. There have been so many changes and I’ve had so many breakthroughs and mindset shifts that I have switched up not only the way I coach, but the way I think and live. Which you can read about on my newly crafted about me and coaching page if you’re interested.
The biggest news is that I moved to Mexico this past January. Right before Canada called for all Canadians to come home and shut its borders down due to Covid. I now almost feel like it was divine intervention that brought me here. I feel less stressed and I truly feel the environment plays a huge role in a lot of the decisions I’m making (I’ve been told the reason for this is due to the ley lines in Puerto Vallarta)
I’ve been exploring Puerto Vallarta solo for the most part but also meeting new and interesting people, eating a lot of tacos and soaking up a lot of sun and surf. I work with my clients, go to the gym, play outside, I research a lot about self-development, mindset and habit change and I relax. A pretty sweet life. Not an extravagant life mind you, I live quite simply and minimally but I have all that I could ask for and that is priceless to me…or so I thought.
I recently attended (online) an all day Brain-a-thon that featured an NLP Master named Niurka. She was also a mindset/sales coach for a Mercedes Benz sales team who she coached to the top selling Mercedez Benz dealership in the WORLD. There were Dr.s of Psychology (including one that had worked with the US Olympic team in the past) and a neuroscientist also in attendance. Please forgive my lack of names, during the event I googled each and every person (I guess I have trust issues) and they all checked out but it was Niurka that stood out the most to me because it was her talk that made me realize that while I am living a beautiful life in paradise and I’m happy and grateful everyday I’ve been using that fact to play small. I’ve set and achieved goals this far and now that it’s time to really get my hands dirty I decide I’m just going to stop and smell the roses? For how long?………It’s going on 9 months now.
I’m aware of self-sabotage when its obvious, such as eating the cheeseburger instead of the chicken salad or watching Netflix instead of reading. But my brain had to come up with different ways to self-sabotage because I was on to the old methods. Now I was trying to tell myself that because life is sweet and stress free that the work was done. Its harder to spot self-sabotage when you are doing good and feeling happy. But had I not noticed I’d probably be singing a different tune another 6 to 9 months down the line.
Basically it was time for my next level up and I got scared of the amount of work (the type of work that is challenging to someone who only wants to coach and practice self development). I’ve come so far in many ways but there are some areas that I struggle to keep up with because I find it so challenging. The thought of getting overwhelmed with the next steps and just bailing on it all, or worse, giving it my all and no one liking what I put out and then dealing with embarrassment AND failure both scared the sh*t out of me. I knew unconsciously that it was time to slay these dragons but my mind tricked me into thinking we don’t need to work on that, look how good we are doing/feeling. But the work is not over. Not by a long shot. It was time for me to practice what I preach to clients.
I always knew mindset was very important for achieving goals and having a life that feels meaningful and fulfilling, but now know that mindset is EVERYTHING. One of the things I boast about is that my coaching method works on ANY goal, not just those seeking better health so it’s time for me to prove that. Not that I hadn’t used my methods on difficult non health related goals in the past but as we level up in life so do the challenges, and this time around the challenges seemed so big that I unwittingly talked myself out of continuing the journey under the guise of “living such a great life”.
First, reframing everything in my mind has helped immensely. I actively work on training my mind to embrace challenges because those are the times we get to do the inner work, and for the most part I see the benefit of it in my everyday life as things that used to bug me or irritate me or even upset me don’t even phase me now. But sometimes the challenge feels too big or the challenge involves a physical pain so strong that you have to remind yourself to embrace the struggle. Something I had to do with myself in this case.
I also had to remember some inspiring words such as “if you aren’t failing you aren’t trying enough” or “the only failure is to not try” or “fear of looking foolish is holding you back”. All very relevant and much needed wisdom.
My focus was on the end goal of being some big time coach, financially, mentally and emotionally free, travelling when and where I want. Helping others through coaching, speaking, courses, and books. Retiring at 50 or earlier in a beautiful beach front condo in Mexico and having the resources to help family and friends.
When my goal was simply to quit my day job and start coaching with a flexible schedule that allowed me more personal freedom, it felt challenging but still doable and I did it. When I decided I wanted to move to Mexico as a paradise destination that wasn’t too far from family and friends living in Canada it felt challenging but I doable and I did it. Now that I’m here and I want to get to the part of my dream about writing books, doing more speaking engagements, reaching more people with my coaching, being financially free and travelling where and when I want it feels challenging but something was different. Subconsciously I didn’t think it was doable or I doubted my ability to do it is probably more accurate. I know that when I doubt myself its best not to put too much focus on the end result and instead I needed to just focus on small daily wins that reinforced the results I was after (slowly building the identity) going as slowly as I needed to not feel overwhelmed as long as I was taking consistent action and moving forward.
Instead of wondering how I will ever make it as a big time coach with zero marketing skills and lacking the budget to hire a marketing coach right now and being unsure of whether people even WANT me as a coach I instead look at what I CAN control: Creating free resources to build trust and authority. Posting more regularly but starting with a posting schedule that is not so daunting that it causes me to abandon it before I can even get traction. Trying out vlogging instead of written blog to see if it helps me post more. Creating my first email campaign to finally start an email list. Reaching out to those who can help me on my journey rather than thinking I’m going to get “discovered” lol. And the most difficult of all, doing this WITHOUT regard for the outcome, simply doing it to build the character of a successful coach.
It’s not my job to worry about if people will love my content, if people will want me to be their coach, if I will have the successes that I want in life or if I will fail. All I have to do is believe it will happen and then show the universe the proof of my commitment with daily actions. No matter how small as long as I am moving forward. This shift allows me to feel proud of myself with EACH action, rather than feeling discouraged because the big picture seems so far away at this point.
I know this will help me reconnect with my clients and potential clients, because I know how hard it can be to start and stick to a healthy lifestyle that brings you the results you want, but because I don’t really feel those challenges in the context of health and wellness, I can now connect with what they are going through but for me it’s in the context of business and I LOVE that!
So mixed in with my health tips in mindset, movement and nutrition will be anecdotes of how the same strategies are working for me in my business.
See you soon!
